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Showing posts from September, 2004

What It Means To Be Australian

The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm; The shorter the nickname, the more they like you; Whether it's the opening of parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by the addition of a sausage sizzle; There is no food that cannot be improved by the addition of tomato sauce; On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out; Industrial design knows of no item more useful than the plastic milk crate; The alpha male in any group is he who takes the tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags; It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold; It is correct to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard"; The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one with the swimming pool; The phrase "W