Courtesy of The Chaser
Address in Reply - The opportunity for the Opposition Leader to pretend that he has substantial policies to put forward, even though modern politics demand that he doesn't.
Backbencher - Someone who badly wants to be a minister.
Bicameral - Refers to the system of having two Houses. Used by the Commonwealth for parlaiment and Helen Coonan for tax evasion.
Cabinet Solidarity - The convention that ensures the total lack of solidarity between Ministers is only revealed to the public by incessant leaks.
Censure motion - A motion which confirms that a Minister who's been caught in a clear case of wrongdoing has gotten away with it.
Conscience vote - A free vote where a majority of politicians decide that their conscience dictates that they toe the party line.
Cross the floor - What Andrew Bartlett does when the Liberals stash all the good booze.
Executive - The arm of government dedicated to implementing the policies demanded by the nation's business executives.
Fillibuster - When a politician talks too long. Especially happens in parliament, on television, radio, and in the members bar.
Independent - A politician who resists the two major parties' domination of the political process by making themselves completetly irrelevant to it.
Maiden Speech - A list of principles to be ignored for the rest of your political career.
Ministerial Responsibility - The responsibility of a minister to remain uninformed about anything going on in their department to avoid blame later.
No confidence - A term used to describe Simon Crean's personality.
Out of Order - A sign sometimes seen on parliamentary bathrooms. When this happens, motions cannot be passed.
Parliamentary bar - The most boring pub in Australia.
Party discipline - What happens at a party when the Parliamentary Whip arrives.
Politics - Canberra's second biggest industry after porn.
Portfolio - Something given to backbenchers to shore up support in a leadership spill.
Quorum - A token measure to get MPs to show up to work.
Redistribution - A process by which government marginal seats are converted into safe seats.
Referendum - A means of failing to change the Constitution.
Reserve powers - fearsome powers the Governor-General can use when he's not addressing a nursing mother's convention.
Right Honourable - An ironic term.
Second reading - something no one will ever give to Mark Latham's books.
Separation of Powers - A system of distributing government power that allows everyone to blame everyone else.
The Speaker - A long serving, talentless hack given ceremonial position to compensate for the looming end of their career.
The Usher of the Black Rod - Classic pornographic film made in 1978.
The Australian Political Dictionary
23 October 2004
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