Scenes From An Office

25 November 2004
Let me take you on the tour.On your left we have a bunch of cubicles. On your right we have a bunch of cubicles. Behind them you see a wall. There's the photocopier; there's the fax machine. I have a funny story about the ductwork...

My Dilbert of a life continues. Nothing has changed round here (I've been doing this job, as funding approval from head office permits, on and off for years). Well there's one thing...the office Camping Carl, (the cubicle dweller's friend), in addition to striding around with a coffee cup, has taken up using an exercise ball. Every day he wheels it, and an instruction video, into the conference room for a few hours of downtime from all that beverage-transportation exertion. That's how it is here. No one does any work, but we all pretend to each other that we do.Today I've created spreadsheets which will never be read, made phone calls which will never be returned, sent emails which will never be answered, and talked to my boss when all he was thinking was "What's on TV tonight?" At least I could travel back in time without changing anything.

Some cow-orkers and I were in the kitchen eating strawberries (the company has fresh fruit delivered to us every week) when I remarked, as I'd read somewhere, that eating strawberries makes your teeth whiter.A female colleague thought I'd said, "makes your tits whiter". And it took us fully five minutes to stop laughing (see, I told you I would cheer up!)


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