Transport for NSW

24 November 2004
SIX reasons the crime statistics may have fallen in NSW:
1. Criminals relying on CityRail to get to and from jobs.
2. Several high-profile burglars checked in to a NSW public hospital with a minor headache, never to be seen again.
3. With all the other things to complain about in NSW at the moment, people have plain forgotten to report crimes.
4. Most criminals moved to Queensland to avoid punishing property taxes.
5. Economic boom times mean that upwardly mobile former petty criminals have shifted into the white-collar crime caper.
6. Crims were swept up in the excitement of Australian Idol and simply forgot to break the law.

SIX other campaigns Captain Commuter Rebecca Turner should get cracking on now that she has gotten Sydney free train travel on Monday:
1. Free electricity for a day after Thursday's CBD blackout
2. Free bucket of water for each one spilled trying to wash a car
3. Free medicine for a day for Campbelltown and Camden hospital patients
4. Free bulletproof vest and baton for every shopkeeper located within 10 steps of a NSW police shopfront.
5. "Get out of jail free card" for Kariong detention centre inmates (it's the only solution since the Government won't protect the workers).
6. Free train travel on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday etc etc.

SIX tactics our one-man police stations are allowed to use in the fight on crime:
1. Loud admonishments to trouble-makers, eg "guys, guys, please stop robbing that pharmacy!" 2. Looking the other way
3. Ringing other police stations with more cops for help
4. Getting another arm of government, eg CityRail, Sydney Water, to respond
5. Urge the criminals to look into their hearts, come forward and hand themselves in
6. Focus instead on the many good people who don't break the law


Why couldn't we have had a fare free day on the buses? They suck too! I'm not sure whether trains or buses annoy me more. My train trips are much longer but not thankfully, daily. The buses irritate me immensley. All I know is...I have commuter rage all the time!
"yes my concession pass is valid! why does no one ever have their money ready! get out through the back doors! get that schoolbag out of my face! stop shoving me! whaddaya mean, there's a delay! damn all this traffic! A derailment ahead on the line - again! I have to wait for the next one! no seats! hey, that's my bag! stop slowing down going through lights in case they turn orange! learn to drive! screw this, I'm getting a taxi!"


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