Weight As a Self-Esteem Issue
Yes, it's an oft-discussed topic, but I'd like to put a fresh slant on it. I think I'm gaining weight because, since I am so fabulous, logically there should be more of me. No, no. My weight gain is due to one reason only: massive consumption of food.
It began a couple of months back, when I re-started work. I always gain weight when I'm working, for a few reasons: I drink less (barely at all during the week) so it gives me more of an appetite; and also I'm simply awake for more hours of the day, and you don't get so hungry when you're asleep. At the moment there's another factor; since I only work half-days, I get real bored. And I love to cook, and I have more money to buy all the ingredients I want.
The result is, I'm currently spending several hours a day cooking elaborate dishes - which, since it's winter, tend to be heavy, comfort food meals - and eating them all myself. At first this wasn't a problem. I was so thin that I felt no guilt about eating whatever the hell I wanted. Now, though, several weeks and even more kilos down the track, it's really catching up to me. Supposedly, women put weight on their hips and thighs. Not me. I load the kilos on my stomach. And I'm sprouting a lovely potato bake-praline-cheesecake- and pastry- belly right now.
It's not like it really matters at the moment. Although the past few days have been unseasonably, disturbingly warm, normally right now we're swathed in so many clothes that everyone looks like a pregnant Eskimo. However, soon enough, the weather will warm up and I will have to strip down to...the ankle length skirts and loose t-shirts that constitute my summer wardrobe, whether I'm 45kg or 58kg.
So it's not like it really matter ever! I'd go get a Snickers, but they've all been recalled in NSW because of an extortion threat. Guess I'll settle for a Boost (they're new, but they're good). Dammit, who cares any way? I've been getting around in this body for over a quarter of a century now. It may be getting a little wobbly, and I'm nowhere near as flexible as I was, but I like it.
It began a couple of months back, when I re-started work. I always gain weight when I'm working, for a few reasons: I drink less (barely at all during the week) so it gives me more of an appetite; and also I'm simply awake for more hours of the day, and you don't get so hungry when you're asleep. At the moment there's another factor; since I only work half-days, I get real bored. And I love to cook, and I have more money to buy all the ingredients I want.
The result is, I'm currently spending several hours a day cooking elaborate dishes - which, since it's winter, tend to be heavy, comfort food meals - and eating them all myself. At first this wasn't a problem. I was so thin that I felt no guilt about eating whatever the hell I wanted. Now, though, several weeks and even more kilos down the track, it's really catching up to me. Supposedly, women put weight on their hips and thighs. Not me. I load the kilos on my stomach. And I'm sprouting a lovely potato bake-praline-cheesecake- and pastry- belly right now.
It's not like it really matters at the moment. Although the past few days have been unseasonably, disturbingly warm, normally right now we're swathed in so many clothes that everyone looks like a pregnant Eskimo. However, soon enough, the weather will warm up and I will have to strip down to...the ankle length skirts and loose t-shirts that constitute my summer wardrobe, whether I'm 45kg or 58kg.
So it's not like it really matter ever! I'd go get a Snickers, but they've all been recalled in NSW because of an extortion threat. Guess I'll settle for a Boost (they're new, but they're good). Dammit, who cares any way? I've been getting around in this body for over a quarter of a century now. It may be getting a little wobbly, and I'm nowhere near as flexible as I was, but I like it.
And when I posted this, I thought 58kg was heavy.
ReplyDeleteGoodness me...