I'm Only Going To Say This Once

31 May 2006
Caveat, 2023: this post - by far - created more fallout than anything else I've ever posted. People took it personally. It wasn't meant that way. A lot of it is exaggerating for comedic effect. You may not think it's funny. That's okay; I don't think it's funny anymore either. And I've posted recently about how I repudiate many of the views I held in my younger years. Nevertheless, I'm leaving it up, although I'm not sure why. Maybe doing so says it all about how much I've changed - in 2006 I was angry all the time. Now I'm just spacey and confused.

Do you know who I really hate?

Piers Akerman. People in early retirement age who are physically and mentally fine, but demand special treatment. People who don't have their money ready when they go to make a purchase. People who play poker machines. Anyone else who gambles. Tony Abbott. People who say "my bad". People who say "go figure". People who wear sunglasses indoors and at night. People who take their frustration at queues in the supermarket out on the checkout operator. People who make assumptions and then blame others for their mistakes. People who drive SUVs/4WDs. Anyone who doesn't live in an isolated rural area who claims they "need" to drive. Anyone who lives in an isolated rural area. People who regularly read a blog and never comment. People who expect you to find their children as adorable and/or fascinating as they do. People who assume any female is "good with kids". People who want to tell you about their renovations. People who obsess about their weight. Rabid anti-smokers. Fat people who blame their condition on anything other than eating too much. Fundamentalist ________'s (fill in the blank). Homophobic People. Paris Hilton. Snooty Waiters. Airline check-in staff. Security guards. Drivers who speed through pedestrian crossings. Drivers who speed through orange lights. People who dawdle in front of you whilst they block the way. People who play golf. People who don't return phone calls, e-mails and sms messages. People who don't bother to speak English properly. People who don't bother to write properly. People who play doof doof music whilst driving at night. People who play doof doof music. Tourists who complain about Australia. American tourists who only visit American companies whilst in Australia. Strangers who talk to you on public transport. Strangers who ask what you're reading. Strangers who ask what music you are listening to. Panhandlers. People who are offended by swearing. People who swear excessively. People with a message on their websites telling visitors to fuck off. My Space users. People without small children who make a big deal out of Christmas. Santa. Vegans. People who constantly talk about their illnesses. People who make a big deal about their allergies. People who make a big deal about eating low-carb. Rascists. Wine snobs. People who don't drink. People who only drink bourbon. Richard Wilkins. People who repeatedly dial wrong numbers. People who dial wrong numbers and act as though it's the fault of the person who answered the call. People who are always late. People who go to the bank at lunch time then get annoyed because it's busy. Old people who use public transport at peak hour then get annoyed because they can't get a seat. People who press the button at every bus stop in case they miss their stop. People who do miss their stop and expect the bus to make a diversion to drop them off. People who act as if a loved one just died if they miss their train station. People who can't follow instructions. Customers who don't wait their turn. Shop assistants with no idea of what items are carried in the store, or where the items are located. People who watch The OC. People who don't watch The Simpsons. People who complain about petrol prices. People with opinions about things they don't understand. Teenagers. People under the age of twenty-five who tell older people "you're not that old". People who walk into unattended foyers and ring the bell without waiting any time. Vendors. People with no sense of humour about the things they're passionate about. Parents who don't discipline their children. AFL fans. People who believe in astrology. Adam Sandler. Adults who use the term boyfriend/girlfriend to describe their partner. People who don't clean up after their dogs. People who give their dogs topknots. People who think that if they get up early, so should everyone else. People who can't distinguish between your and you're. People who wear ugg boots in public. People who don't shower everyday. People with halitosis. People who shout things out of cars. Spruikers. People with doilies in their houses. Natural therapists. People who run Christian blogs. David Koch. People who get taken in by blatantly obvious scams and then whinge about it. Stingy people. Skateboarders. People who keep rodents as pets. People who park at bus stops. People who don't listen to what you say then take offence at what they thought they heard. People who walk in on conversations and join in without knowing what's going on. Right wing people. People who think their own view on a subject is the only one that matters. Big Brother housemates. Australian Idol contestants. People who work at department store beauty counters. Radio DJs who talk over the songs they're playing. TV station programmers who cut out parts of TV shows. The people who who invented in-program TV promos. Subway sandwich "artists", and everyone else with ridiculously inflated job titles. People who miss the point.

And obviously, Bec and Lleyton Hewitt.

This will be updated. I'm not nearly finished.


  1. I must say. I have never enjoyed writing a post as much as I did this one.

    Any more? The best suggestions will be added to the main list.

  2. well. i seem to be covered by quite a number of those.
    + i do not watch the oc.
    - or the simpsons.
    + i dont use myspace
    - i don't drink.


  3. oh and i am a teenager :| but then, i hate teenagers so that's okay.

  4. You're not like the other teenagers. You know the kind of teenagers I mean. And you don't drink because you're not allowed, not because you think it's beneath you.

  5. Good list. I scored three. And if you discount regular viewer/non-commenter, that only leaves two. I do have a 4WD, but it's 23 years old and tiny. And sorry, but I just don't like swearing, except on special occasions.

  6. It's not meant to be a checklist! But if you have an SUV that's that old, then it was manufactured before they became all the rage, so I suppose that's okay.

    And I don't swear alot. But people who take grave offence at swearing creep me out.

  7. how about:
    People who, after finding out you have a cat, expect you to hate cats just because they do?
    Or people who hate cats in general.
    ~angry face~

  8. Customers. Library fines. silverchair references. Idiots. Blogs about breakfast cereal. Spam. Non-smoking bars. Yappy dogs. Wankers. Outsourcing.

  9. Nice list. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinions.

    - Teenagers: I have one. I hate them (yes) and I love them too.
    - People who believe that all women are good parents - agree. I would add people who believe that it is easy and that they could do it better than you. :)

    By the way, I found your blog in viewing the google help group on blogger. A nice discovery. Thanks.


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