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Think This Is A Pointless Blog? Here's Six!
My company is possibly doing a share float in the medium-term. So management is looking at ways to make the company more attractive to investors. This has led to all sorts of wild rumours being spread by employees. But I knew that management knows what it's doing when I heard the latest: banning casual Friday. As a sensible investor, I know I have no faith in a company if I hear the employees wear tan slacks on Fridays.
Speaking of work, I'm going to learn hypnosis. Then after a week of absenteeism, I'll arrive at the office at 2:30 on Friday afternoon and ask everyone to join me for a meeting so I can explain why I've been away. When I've got everyone there, I'll hypnotise them all into believing I've been there all week. Then I'll finish with a hypnotic suggestion that after such a tough week of work, we deserve a break. I'll snap everybody out of it, then we can all head to the pub.
(Don't borrow this technique - I'm not yet sure what the implications will be at performance review time).
Tens of thousands marched this week in protest of the Howard government's new IR laws, but the IR minister Kevin Andrews is claiming the marchers were irrelevant because 98% of workers didn't march. What difference has attendance ever made to the Howard government? One million Australians marched in protest of the invasion of Iraq - and Australia participated anyway. (But hey, we got a nice juicy free trade deal with the US for our troubles - no, wait! The government's now saying that's under threat if we don't accept the new IR laws! They just keep moving the carrot a little further away...)
This morning I saw that Lucas Neill will be appearing on Sunrise on Monday. I was so excited I had to fan myself and send Xander for the smelling salts. My first instinct was to think "I have to be there!" (Being faithful, and 27 years old besides, be damned - I wanna be a screaming, panty-throwing groupie!) But I worked out that to get to Sydney by 7am I'd have to leave Newcastle at 4am - the new timetable means it takes longer to get to Sydney by train now than in the steam-engine 1930s. Oh well. I'll go see him at the ticker-tape parade - and if it's warm enough, I'm gonna flash my...bra.
I often say, there's no situation I can't lend my special brand of incompetence to. But I'm getting tired of just screwing up my own life. I'm considering starting another blog, where readers can send me their problems and I'll dispense "What would a pissed woman in her late 20s do?" wisdom. If you have any questions you'd like me to practice on, please leave them in the comments. If you actually take my advice, I promise to be impressed.
I can't read your blog - black type on a blue/black background just doesn't work. (fyi)ReplyDelete
so look at it in internet explorer, fool.ReplyDelete
When I was in Singapore eariler this year I was reading their paper - It's such a peaceful country, no real violence like here and no protests. I read an article about protesting and they listed why you shouldn't bother, and one was because the issue you're protesting about has usually been signed, sealed and delivered so there is no point protesting about it.ReplyDelete
I agree with that, there is no point because they will most likely go ahead with the project anyway.
There was something going on in Newcastle and Tate said not to bother protesting it because it's already been passed! Shows how much they don't care about the people.
Kitekat - exactly. That's why it says "best viewed in IE" on the sidebar!ReplyDelete
Skye - well that's Novocastrian Labor figures for you. But generally, yes there's little point protesting something that's already done - and the Howard govt do not care anyway. As much as I think we should be out of Iraq, I've never been to a protest about it.
Internet Explorer is the browser choice of the ignorant masses. Either deal with the fact that your readership has a good chance of using Firefox or Opera or Safari or whatever other browser they want.ReplyDelete
The "fool" is the user who isn't capable of using a browser that doesn't suck up spyware like a motherfucker while providing a happy phishing ground for whichever band of dodgy assholes are out in force that day.
Sure people can use whatever browser they want...but I'm not reconfiguring my entire blog to accomodate them.ReplyDelete
The "fool" was the person who complained they couldn't read the blog, even though it says in the sidebar it is best viewed in IE.