"Life" Under APEC

04 September 2007

  • It's amazing how quickly you get used to all this nonsense - helicopters buzzing around the office blocks, for instance. Apparently there's some new terrorist threat from middle management. I mean, what the hell do the security services think we're doing up there - preparing pipe bombs along with status reports? (How many of the "security experts" who plan these things have ever had real jobs?)

  • Apart from "The Wall" though, the most obvious sign that there's something going on is that there are police everywhere. There's 1500 police on patrol for APEC, and most of them seem to be around the couple of blocks near my office. Right now, they're just standing around in groups of four and five, looking pretty bored. I can't help but wonder if any of them secretly want something to go wrong, just so they'll have something to do - as well as the possibility of appearing as a hero on international television. I guess we'll have to wait to see if there's a loud bang followed by 50 police yelling in unison, "Stand back everyone, I got it!"

  • Proving, however, that the NSW Police let none of the latest counter-terrorist technologies past them, all the rubbish bins in the CBD have been covered in black plastic garbage bags and sealed with police tape; the idea being that no one can then place a bomb in a bin. Even the most hard-core of terrorists or violent protestors will be defeated by thin black plastic garbage bags - I don't know why they don't use more of them in Iraq.

  • For those of you who aren't happy about Bush being in Sydney, but aren't of a temperment to incite violence, this cold snap is good news. I can just imagine Bush calling Howard last week, during Sydney's warm spell, and asking what he should pack for his visit. Howard would have told him, "The weather here lately is beautiful! You probably won't even need a sweater".

    And so Bush will arrive tonight, Sydney is back to coat-required weather, and he'll be woefully underprepared. He could send his Secret Service guys out to get him more clothes, but with so many shops shutting for the week, all they'll be able to find is I ♥ SYDNEY! t-shirts. So he'll freeze, and look like an idiot.

    There's always a silver lining...

    1. "look like an idiot."

      You mean, of course, *MORE* of an idiot.

    2. Well, yes. (Which is worse, the t-shirt or his face? How does one quantify these things?)

    3. A t-shirt will always be a t-shirt, but Bush's face will always be an icon of stupid.

      You could dye or paint the hideous nature of the t-shirt away, but nothing will ever erase the memory of the world's most stupid, drooling, dribbling tosspot of a leader.

    4. Your blog is being forwarded to www.e-dittoditto.com, unless you press stop. Pop-ups are appearing, too =(


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