The Definition of Bogans

16 February 2009

I came across this on a Biggest Loser forum, and it was so apt, and amusing, I just had to share...

"Live in the outer western suburbs and have low education levels. Usually work in low paid and menial jobs i.e. factories and supermarkets. Give BBQs where everyone brings their own meat, hamburger patties, cheap breakfast sausages and massive lumps of blade steak. If lucky, the host will provide a catering pack of nasty pre-prepared potato salad, half a wilted lettuce and a few tomatoes cut into chunks with a tin of beetroot and a couple of fried onions. There will be plenty of bottled but cheap brand BBQ sauce and tomato sauce. The hostess will also graciously provide a slab of semi frozen cheesecake, again in a caterer's pack.

For the men, they will be seen entering the BBQ with a slab of beer on their shoulders (not their favourite brand, but the cheapest). They will attempt to leave with a slab of beer on their shoulders (their favourite brand). The women will arrive with a couple of bottles of fruity lexia and think they are upmarket because it is in a bottle, not in a cask. They will drink half a bottle and be totally shickered.

The men will wear tshirts and jeans with either a cheap knock off pair of sneakers from Target which attempts to copy a pair of more expensive sneakers or a pair of cheap rubber thongs. The tshirt should feature a heavy metal 80's band. The women will wear cheap knockoffs resembling something Paris wore in the women's mag photo last week.

They will drive what is normally classified as a 'hoon' car and will owe more than the car is worth to a finance company. It's generally acceptable to heavily decorate the car with fringed rear windows and a set of dice hanging from the rear view mirror. The more metallic and hideous the colour of the car, the better. The sound system in the car will cost more than it will cost them to educate their 4 children from kindergarten to legal school leaving age.

General topics of conversation will be celebrities, pop music, TV programmes, local sporting teams and motor sports. If they get really into a conversation, they may stretch themselves and make a small statement about the price of food.

They will own a rottweiler or a 'pig dog' for 'protection', but the kids will be living in mortal fear of the dogs who will receive better food and attention than the children."

They don't always live in the Western Suburbs, either. I have been to that barbecue. Many times.


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