The Right Wingers' Dictionary

02 August 2012
Decipher the ramblings of the frothing right with this handy reference.

Your argument makes no sense: I don't understand your argument

Fool: My favourite insult, got me a caning when I called my teacher a fool in 1948

Fuckwit: My other insult, for when I'm really getting mad

You're blocked: I've lost the argument

Tony Abbott is a great man: He'd beat the crap out of me in a fist fight, anyway

Unaustralian: Something I don't like

Political Correctness gone mad: I resent having to keep my bigotry to myself

I've nothing against gays but they shouldn't be allowed to get married: I've at least one thing against gays, anyway

Same sex marriage destroys tradition/is bad for children: I will ignore all social, cultural, historical and empirical evidence to find excuses to cover my homophobia

Illegal boat arrivals: I believe in other things that don't exist too, like the tooth fairy

Queue jumpers: they should go to their local Australian embassy and request asylum in an orderly fashion. They can do that, right?

Stop the boats!: To be honest, I really don't care what happens to these people

We didn't vote for this: I have no idea how representative democracy works

Election now!: And every other time things happen I don't like

The left-wing ABC: the conservative politicians and commentators who constantly appear on the ABC say it's left wing and they should know since they spend so much time there

Latte sipping: Despite the fact that I visit Gloria Jeans on a regular basis myself, I somehow think choice of coffee is symbolic of the avant garde.

Chardonnay swilling: Now I'm really caught in the 1990s. Maybe I need a more up-to-date insult. Tapas-eating, perhaps?

Gillard lied: I'll wilfully ignore the difference between lying and being required to change positions

Gillard is sneaky: She must be to out-negotiate Abbott, or he would be Prime Minister right now

Evidence: Akerman/Bolt/Jones said it so it must be true

Australia is a Christian nation: full of devout Christians like myself who haven't opened a Bible or set foot in a church in years, and only mark the box on the census cause atheists are, you know, weird

The Greens/Labor Alliance: They worked together so well on asylum seekers, the ETS, same sex marriage, and...well, I'm still convinced they're in alliance, anyway

Socialist: I'd hate to lose Medicare, free education, middle class welfare, or the basic safety net which keeps society in some sort of order and crime down to a dull roar; the rest of the socialist schemes can go though

Gina Reinhart/Clive Palmer/Ziggy Forrest is a great Australian: Billionaires really understand what it's like to be a wage earner, thank goodness they're on our side against greedy, out of touch politicians

Class warfare: We must stand up for rich people against greedy, out of touch politicians

This is the worst government in history: Yes I really am this spoilt and stupid

1 comment:

  1. Looney Left - Awesome Alliteration


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