Could It Be True?

01 September 2013
I had a really weird dream during my nap yesterday. (Okay bear with me here - I know studies consistently rank hearing about other people's dreams as one of the most boring things a human can experience right up there with getting caught up in small talk at a party with an accountant and trying to find mates for all your socks, but I promise this was not one of my normal dreams where an enormous talking hippo is flogging me with a 6ft long licorice whip to knit a ship and my high school science teacher is there for some reason).

Anyway, in this dream, it was an upcoming federal election. The Liberal party were fielding a candidate in an outer suburban/semi rural seat who was a family man, a fundamentalist Christian, who lived with his wife and six children on an isolated farm, homeschooling the kids to keep them free of the corrupting influences of school and the outside world. His Christian beliefs formed his political views on everything from asylum seekers (against it) to abortion (against it) to same-sex marriage (against it).

Only here's the thing. The guy was also very wealthy, as he had a flourishing career as a pornography producer, specialising in something called "extreme anal" (don't ask me; it was a dream remember. I ain't Googling it).

And the general reaction of the electorate - and News Ltd? "Good on him. At least he's getting out there, having a go, providing for his family. Initiative. Family values. The Labor candidate would have no idea what it's like to raise a family - Uni leftist with no kids."

I think I woke somewhere around there in sheer terror, or it may have been the sound of Little G reacting to being told he can't have a third yoghurt in one day. Considering the some of the candidates who the Liberal party have run in this election:

Photo courtesy Lieberal Facebook page

Is it possible that there could be a candidate too bizarre and hypocritical even for the Liberal party? Is my dream psyche giving me a dose of dystopian satire, or a chilling vision of things to come? Looking at the state of political discourse in this country it's hard to imagine it getting any worse, but surely the fundamentalist Christian pornography king is going too far. I hope.

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