Your Cancer is Such A Downer

"Yeah, look, I've been meaning to talk to you about this for ages. It's just - I'm really sick of you having cancer. It's hard to say this but I really have to say something. We used to have a good time hanging out, but now, whatever we do, you've always got cancer, you know? All of us just want to go out and have a good time but there you are, sitting around with cancer. The symptoms of your cancer are awful and embarrassing. We've tried to cheer you up but nothing makes the cancer go away; it's no wonder you have it, really, with that attitude. The rest of us work hard to stay upbeat and not have cancer. I know you're getting treatment and it takes time but your cancer is such a downer. I don't know why you can't just try not having cancer for a while, surely it's not that hard.

Anyway give us a call when you don't have cancer any more, maybe we can catch up but right now with your cancer - it's just too much trouble trying to be friends with you. Sorry. Bye."

Okay, now replace "cancer" with "depression".