Stuff Baby G Says

26 May 2015
Baby G is three and a half. An only child. A little odd (can't think where he gets it).

This is some stuff he has said.

  • We were enjoying the play area at the Newcastle museum when for no apparent reason he bolted for the door at top speed. Upon catching up and asking why, he said "there was a tiger" and refused to elaborate further.

  • Told no because Santa is coming soon when asking for a toy near Christmas: "Santa will be very happy to see me".

  • Play acting a phone call, as he placed the phone in the cradle: "That was a rabbit".
    "A talking rabbit?"
    "Yeah, it speaks English".

  • The night before Easter Sunday, told the Easter bunny is coming tonight: "So will there be eggs for me tomorrow?"
    Coy parent: "Maaayyybe...."
    "So there may not?"

  • "When I grow up I'm going to buy Mummy a new ipad, because hers is broken"
    "And how did it break?" (he stood on it)
    "...the next one won't break"

  • He believed for weeks on end his favourite Transformer was named Optimus Program, and could not be convinced otherwise.

  • Ran for the toilet exclaiming "my bladder!"

  • Hospitalised for asthma after a day and night struggling to breathe, to the doctors: "My lungs have a cold".

  • Said to G and (male) cat: "I love you two, you're my boys"
    G: "Xander isn't a boy, he's a cat"
    "He's a boy cat"
    "No, he's a regular cat".

  • Tiny scratch on hand possibly caused by thin twig or similar, and at least 24 hours old: "My hand is all bloody and sore and I need to rest with your ipad"

  • "You've traipsed mud all over the floor!"
    "I think the cat did it"

  • Remarked to partner that we should go to pub to meet some of my Sydney friends.
    "Me too, I want to have pink drink and pizza and make friends"

  • Apropos of nothing: "I want to burn my friends"
    "You what?"
    With considerable relish: "I want to burn my friends!"

  • At the pool: "You need to stay beside me all the time when we're in the water"
    "Yes. I might die."

  • Asked what he wants to be when he grows up: "I don't want to be anything. I just want to be Baby G. And have cake". Although this is unacceptable to his mother who will only accept the career choices of 1. doctor 2. doctor 3. failure who is written out of the will (and he won't be choosing my nursing home, if you're worried about that - I have no intention of living that long).

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