Dave Grohl for President, 2024

28 June 2024

 The first of the 2024 presidential debates just got done, and ouch. I'm not going to analyse the thing because like most of you I couldn't bear to watch more than a few minutes. Trump was exactly how we expected; a torrent of off topic "falsehoods" (it's okay, legacy media, you can say "lies"). There's nothing to be done there. The big worry is Joe Biden. He seemed markedly aged even in the last few months; confused, rambling, frail. It's the sort of decline that happens in the latter years of life, sometimes very quickly. But it's not great for a commander in chief; I'm not even sure he'd be safe to drive if driving was something presidents ever did. I don't see how the Democrats can deny that Biden has to go. It's Joever.

Who to replace Biden with though? People are already discussing possible presidential candidates from the Democratic firmament. Any of them would be a terrible idea. There's no one who has the support base and profile to pull off a presidential campaign, certainly not when any serving Democrat's political record would only provide easy material for Trump and the GOP to shred to pieces. You know how it would go: Gavin Newsome? Homelessness crisis in California. Gretchen Whitmer: turned Michigan into a locked down smut ridden hell hole and is subject to the lady vapours besides. Pete Buttigieg? I'm about to nod off and go face down on the keyboard just thinking about the guy, but you know how the right would go after things there.

 Nope, the DNC needs to look elsewhere. A fresh new candidate, someone who may not have held political office, but would be a viable option. There's a few essential criteria that person would have to fulfill:

  • Aged between roughly 40 and 60. 

  • A high public profile.

  • A record of supporting left/liberal policies, but nothing too extreme.

  • No major skeletons in the closet.

  • Widely loved. 

As I was mulling requirements over, one guy popped into my mind.

Yep. Dave Grohl for president, 2024.

He ticks all the boxes:

Entrepreneur: when Grohl lost his first band in 1994 following the death of Kurt Cobain, he could have hidden himself away enjoying his wealth in debauched circumstances. Instead, later that year he formed the Foo Fighters. 30 years on, they have released 11 albums with sales topping 32 million; the guy has basically founded his own business empire, creating jobs for people from guitar tech to caterers meeting the specific needs of band roadies. (Bonus: Grohl has never taken cocaine, heroin or speed, and quit cannabis and LSD at age 20).

Understands regular working people: see The Ballad if of the Beaconsfield Miners. And Grohl is Mr Suburbia. He still lives most of his time with his family in the suburbs of the San Fernando Valley. No gold toilets for him. 

Can't be bought: Grohl is worth $260 million. 

Record of support for left wing causes: Grohl's record of advocacy for same sex equality dates back to the early 1990s. He grew up around guns, but is an advocate for gun control. He supported the Obama and Biden presidential campaigns, and has performed at the Democratic National Convention and presidential inauguration. Although he doesn't have a record of political service, he knows politicians, knows  something of how D.C. operates.

No record of political office: Therefore, no record to pull apart. No political scandals. And the GOP can hardly attack him on this because it's exactly the place Trump ran from in 2016. 

Widely loved: I mean, it's exactly because he met and paid tribute to two miners trapped underground in far off Tasmania and has protested the Westboro Baptist church from a concert on a flatbed truck outside their digs that Grohl has retained his everyman touch whilst living out his beliefs. Grohl is (so far) untainted by the tedious culture warriors who get their knickers in a twist about everything they don't like; his music is listened to across the socio-economic scale and political spectrum.  

Can negotiate, whilst standing up to America's enemies: Anyone who's ever been involved in a rock band, read a rock band memo, or simply imagined what life on the road in a band must be like, can imagine that Grohl must have some pretty finely tuned skills here. Grohl has been in public life for nearly 35 years, handling every contingency, every bandmate with diva aspirations, every unexpected calamity that you can imagine. 

Devoted family man: Yep.

We're definitely running out of time here. The Democrats need to do something pretty spectacular to defeat Trump. Biden stepping aside would give the party a boost, as well as suck up all the media oxygen for a period, depriving Trump of his oxygen as news anchors discussed the news of Biden's retirement and reflections on his time in office and presidency; then ask who is Dave Grohl? What does Dave Grohl mean for the campaign? What are Dave Grohl's policies? What would an Grohl administration mean for America? And all the while Trump would be in front of his TVs at Mar-a-Lago, apoplectic with rage that no one is talking about him

Time is short and the matter urgent. We need the safest pair of hands imaginable and those hands, seasoned from decades on the drums, belong to Mr. Dave Grohl. 

Dave Grohl 2024. Do You Have A Better Idea?


Post a Comment

Recent posts

Back to Top