I know how Trump feels*! I also am angry at public figures who have nothing to do with awards I am utterly unqualified for**, but I restrained myself from sending an email to the RSPCA demanding to know why I wasn't named Miss Universe Australia, although because of the snub, I am no longer inclined to talk to the animals, and will scowl at a dog or two over the next few days, thinking about what is good and proper is me being named a young beauty queen despite being an overweight forty something divorcé and having absolutley no desire to attend any pagaent ceremonies or events. I believe the title should have been mine and that should be enough.
But Trump isn't done with sooky letters. He's formed his Board of Peace, positing Trump's cool kids club as an asnwer to the United Nations Security Council, or heck the United Nations in general. The UN laughs at him.
Trump will show them. He'll show them all. Here's the new global world order, as set out by Trump's terms for the Board of Peace:
First off, Donald Trump is Chairman of the Board. Not Trump as U.S. President, but Donald J. Trump himself, for life, or at least until he deigns to appoint a successor.
Article 3.2: Chairman(a) Donald J. Trump shall serve as inaugural Chairman of the Board of Peace, and he shall separately serve as inaugural representative of the United States of America, subject only to the provisions of Chapter III.(b) The Chairman shall have exclusive authority to create, modify, or dissolve subsidiary entities as necessary or appropriate to fulfill the Board of Peace’s mission.Article 3.3: Succession and ReplacementThe Chairman shall at all times designate a successor for the role of Chairman. Replacement of the Chairman may occur only following voluntary resignation or as a result of incapacity, as determined by a unanimous vote of the Executive Board, at which time the Chairman’s designated successor shall immediately assume the position of the Chairman and all associated duties and authorities of the Chairman.
Article 4.1: Executive Board Composition and Representation(a) The Executive Board shall be selected by the Chairman and consist of leaders of global stature.(b) Members of the Executive Board shall serve two-year terms, subject to removal by the Chairman and renewable at his discretion.
Membership of the Board of Peace is at Trump's sole discretion and invitation, for a three year term limit - unless as a member state you pony up for the pay to play a billion dollars for permanent membership:
Each Member State shall serve a term of no more than three years from this Charter’s entry into force, subject to renewal by the Chairman. The three-year membership term shall not apply to Member States that contribute more than USD $1,000,000,000 in cash funds to the Board of Peace within the first year of the Charter’s entry into force.
Does the U.S. or Trump himself have to pay a billion dollars to get in? Unlike where anyone else's money is going, I think you know the answer to this one.
There's lots to criticise about the U.N., but there's no global issue that Trump can't make worse. Better minds than mine have predicted that nations out of the global cool kids club, including many with nationalist, dictatorial or otherwise shitty leadership, will be waving their hands in the air to be picked, but the whole thing will come to naught. And I hope so; there's enough to deal with without the latest petty Trumptrum.
* I've shamelessly borrowed the concept for this intro from Terry Jones's brilliant letter to George W. Bush: I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!
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