A Slice of Office Life

Tuesday, 28 June 2005
To give you a true idea of what life in the cube farm as an admin is really like, I've decided to give you a minute by minute account of my time in the office. I've chosen Tuesday, because that's supposedly the most productive day of the week. I was going to do a whole day, but that would be too boring. So here's just one hour, as it unfolded:

10:00 Nico is in front of her work station. A cow-orker has just placed three courier bags full of files for her to log on her desk. She's opened one, and will open the others as soon as she checks her email.

10:02 Checks her email. There's nothing new. Figures she'll check the Necro forums too. Nothing there either.

10:05 Opens the other courier bags. Checks through files, removing a few that need to be sent interstate and placing them in the appropriate out box. Sorts through the rest.

10:08 Attempts to open database needed to track files. It has logged Nico out. Halfway through logging back in, the bell at the unattended reception rings; it's a customer who, disgruntled with trying to call the national company query line and not getting anywhere, has decided to visit the office. Nico explains that we simply cannot handle the enquiry here, and gives the customer another number to call (the number they should have been calling, which was clearly printed on the unread paperwork). A brief verbal altercation ensures; eventually the customer leaves.

10:20 Nico returns to her desk. She can't remember what she was meant to be doing, so checks email again.

10:25 Sees the piles of files, resumes logging into database.

10:27 Takes phone call from lazy sales rep, wanting to be put through to the Melbourne office rather than calling themselves.

10:30 Nico commences logging the work. Many of the files are incomplete; other databases are brought into play to fix things up.

10:40 One file has totally incomprehensible handwritten instructions in the notes. Nico wants to help, but is confused as how to: sf5!gsfb ~yjdf89.T.fcse Decides to send file to self in internal mail, buying a few days time whilst she works out what to do.

10:48 Irresistible sugar cravings send Nico to the kitchen for cookies.

10:52 Back at desk. Phone again. Wrong number.

10:58 Nico is almost finished her work now. As she doesn't leave for another six hours, she puts the last two files aside and commences a free-cell challenge (Best of 25 games).


And this is my life, yes!

Tai Chi, Chai Tea

Sunday, 26 June 2005
As you may have guessed if you read my blog with anything like regular frequency, I'm not a great one for exercising (and it's caught up with me; I may have a young face, but when I see myself in the full-length mirror whilst dressing, there can be no doubt that it has been a difficult quarter of a century since I was born). However, I've developed a major chai tea obsession. A friend encouraged me to try a cup. I was wary, as normally I hold any form of tea other than the plain black kind in the same regard as fake tan, addidas clothes and Young Liberals i.e. things I can well do without. But it smelt wonderful, tasted even better and now I need three or four cups to get me through the day. What I like best is it doesn't give you that "fuzzy mouth" feeling that you get from regular tea.


It's been a dead quiet weekend, just lots of DVDs and pizza. But it's good for me, and anyway I've got a busy July ahead; next weekend I'm off to Sydney for Vortex, then the following Saturday is the birthday (it's going to be great being 21...again...).

It's so amazing the way Xander is just so in tune with everything I do. Last night I was watching TV in the lounge room, and I could hear him scratching at the "naughty cupboard" (the cupboard under the sink in the kitchen, where I store the cleaning chemicals. He's not allowed to go in there, hence its attraction to him). The scratching stops, and he pokes his face around the door between the lounge room and kitchen as if to say, "What?!?"

Then he disappears and the scratching starts again.

Bad cat gets ten minutes of time out in the bathroom...returns to scratch again.

Xander:1 Nico:0

Random and Unecessary

Thursday, 23 June 2005
Last night I was watching The Glasshouse on the ABC and they had a discussion about why your brain retains information you don't need.

Here's the thing...when the band Hanson were at the height of their brief popularity, my then 13-year-old sister had a somewhat large obsession with them.

Fast forward eight years, and she was discussing a recent TV appearance they made. And then I realised...I could remember the names of all of their brothers and sisters.

Why is my brain retaining that information? I don't need to remember that. And not in the sense that I don't need to remember seeing that photo of Alexander Downer wearing fishnet stockings (I've tried to find the image to post, so you all share my pain, but alas have been unable).


They're often telling us at work that we should boost our own morale.

So I bopped everyone in the office over the head with a flyswatter, and I feel much better.

The Weekend Has Landed!

Friday, 17 June 2005

I really have no right to crow; it was only a four day week, and I only work half days besides. Being thrilled that it's Friday seems like a guilty pleasure - but I don't have many of them to get excited about these days. Anyway I am as entitled as anyone else to take a break, even if there's not much to take a break from.

Actually truth be told, I am exhausted. I'm still not used to getting up early, and it's so hard to get out of bed when it's dark and cold. Xander snuggles in beside me when the alarm goes off, which makes it even worse. I am not a person who leaps out of bed, throws open the curtains and hollers, "Good morning world!" (Not that there's anything to see when I open the curtains except streetlights and fog). I like to lie in bed and listen to the radio for 10-15 minutes before I tear myself out from the blankets. Anyway, it doesn't take me that long to get ready - no breakfast, just a cup each of tea and coffee, and I don't wear make-up to work, though I do put on a bit of perfume to give me a little lift and cheer myself up. What does take time is Xander...change his water, top up his dry food, give him his wet food and wash the bowl after, tidy any mess he's made...and take care of any "tray business". I know it would save time if I could leave for work without making the bed, sometimes I think I'll do it, but then I realise "who am I kidding?". I cannot leave the house with the bed unmade!

It's not like I have any plans for the weekend, God knows I always mean to make some but never get around to calling anyone until it's 10:30pm on Saturday night when I think, "Well I would like to go out now", but by then it's too late. Anyway my hair looks a bit appaling...I'm a bit wary of dyeing it until a bit later, to give my head more time to heal. I'm sure no one would notice how faded it is in the dim light of a pub. I'm thinking of growing it again. And I'm sick of it being red...back in black for winter '05. I'd be interested in people's opinions, please leave any in the comments!

I've submitted The Xander and Nico Pod to Blog Hot or Not. So when I get listed, you'll all have to go rate me and say how sexy it is around here (ha ha, clumsy, short-sighted and dorky is the new sexy).

I just found out how much I would have been paid this week if the paperwork hadn't been stuffed up. My imaginary life is doing great!
Now back to pretending to work...

How About Them Current Events, Eh?

Wednesday, 15 June 2005
That's what I really, really couldn't stand about being on Big Brother (apart from being ordered about, other people's odours, and of course being away from Xander)...not being able to keep up with the news. I won't list the things that the housemates don't know that have happened since this series started (if you don't already know, you won't much care); but it would drive me nuts not knowing.


I live on a major road, and there's a big, noisy nighttime upgrade going on right now. As a result, just a few meters away from my house, there's one of those big solar-powered signs that announces road projects. For the last few weeks it has announced:


About a week ago, the work paused and the sign went blank, giving us long-suffering residents the chance to get some sleep.

Not anymore. The sign is active again today, although I suspect the guy who's job it is to program the thing hasn't gotten the hang of it yet. It now reads:


Whether or not this will be WORS than the roadwork remains to be seen.


Here's a little tidbit you may find amusing...

Tonight, "Newcastle's favourite son" Andrew Johns *splutter, splutter* makes his return to State of Origin football for NSW after two years absence due to injury. Johns, whilst in form, is reputed to be the world's best rugby league player, and NSW must win this game or lose the series.

Well, this is full front page news in both The Sydney Morning Herald and Sydney's The Daily Telegraph. But here in his parochial home town, what's splashed across the front page of The Newcastle Herald? The Michael Jackson acquittal. Andrew Johns is relegated to the sports section.

Being A Permanent Employee Is Great

Saturday, 11 June 2005
Everyone in the office yesterday was whooping it up because of the long weekend, and out of years of casual-employee habit I thought "Yeah, it's all right for you...it means I don't get paid for the day." But then I realised "Wait a minute...yes I do!" I turn 26 in a few weeks, and this is the first time in my life I've had a permanent job, with sick leave, paid holidays etc. This is tremendous. It means I can take time off to go on the Einstein Factor, and also some friends and I are going on holiday in September. The trip was originally planned to be to Bali, but obviously not now. Everyone is saying, "Don't go to Bali, go to Fiji", but we thought we'll be patriotic and spend our money here, so we're going to Queensland.
*Wails* I wanna go back to Tahiti!!!

If you've been trying to get through to me and haven't been able, I apologise; my phone is dying. It needs to be charged every day whether there's any calls or not, and it constantly switches itself off for no apparent reason. (Just keep trying).

Not to worry though. When I get my tax refund, I'm going to get a new mobile phone...a top-of-the-line phone with all the whizz-bang latest technological features. I'm going to program the phone to continuously auto-dial John Howard's office. Then I'm going to hang the phone under the tale of a very large horse.

Some Daft Company Wants To Employ Me

Tuesday, 7 June 2005
Yep, I got a new job. Actually, a new job at my old workplace. You're now looking at the brand new Database Administrator (Well, you're reading about her anyway). This is way too much power for someone as Machiavellian as myself - I can take down the whole network at a single stroke! I start on Thursday.

This will hopefully cure me of a dreadful habit I've picked up lately; I can't seem to get out of bed before 1pm. Partly this is because I was told to rest, because of my stitches. But mostly it's because I've got a new mattress (I'd been sleeping on the old one I'd had since I was ten - ugh) and I just lie there thinking about how comfortable I am. The mattress is yet to be "broken in" if you get my drift. I'm yet to decide who will do the honours (let's be honest - it will be the first buff young thing I manage to persuade to go home from the pub with me).

My stitches come out tomorrow, thank cow. I haven't been able to wash my hair for a week. I know that as soon as I get home from the doctors, I'll wash it for probably ninety minutes straight! Also I'll be able to assess how bad the damage to my hair really is, and whether head-shaving will be required (if it is, I'm wearing a wig. no way am I going around bald). I might treat myself to a facial or something; I'm feeling a bit battered and not very attractive.

Finish This Sentence

Wednesday, 1 June 2005

always: want a nap.

never: trust John Howard.

would like: dinner

commit this Deadly Sin more often than the other six: gluttony. I've got really expensive taste in food.

have had how many boyfriends: two serious boyfriends (I was just joking about the others)

think: music now sucks, compared to the Ninties

did this for the very first time recently: found out I'm going to be on TV

want: A federal Labor government

try: to listen when other people are talking instead of prattling on about myself

feel: sore, but I've got my stitches in my scalp.

look: like I've abandoned all pretence to vanity.

might: buy socks tomorrow.

spend: hours staring out the window.

am afraid of: birds and heights.

like: sour fruit roll-ups

drive: into bridges.

hate: bigots.

propose: that it is to the benefit of the entire human race that I do not reproduce.

blog: not as often as I'd like.

love: Xander. That cat is my life

miss: the Nineties

prefer: drunk to sober

have ___ tattoos: Two. And another one very soon.

am going to: go get pizza with my mother, eat it, then go home and watch the intruders on Big Brother
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