Tuesday Musings

Last week, the third item on Channel Nine's Melbourne Monday evening news bulletin was the "shocking expose" of two sisters, forced to wear tracksuits to their sister's wedding when their bridesmaid dresses didn't arrive in time. What I find amusing here is not so much the dumbing down of the news, but the fact that, when the dresses weren't delivered, the next best outfit the women could come up with was a tracksuit. What do these people wear to job interviews? On dates? Perhaps it's best we don't know.

I'm often hearing about people who go for long walks "to think". I wish I had this ability. Whenever I go for a walk, all my mental energy goes into remaining vertical. Yesterday I walked for hours around the Botanic Gardens and Opera House, and I must have looked like a woman having a big think about things, but my only coherent thoughts were: 1. eels are incredibly ugly; 2. I'd love to actually eat at Guillaume some time; 3. good lord, that ice cream vendor is overcharging, and; 4. I wish I hadn't walked so far when I'll have to walk back again, I hope I don't get sunburnt. (I did).

Apparently the fine for jumping off the Sydney Harbour Bridge is $2200...including GST. What's the logic here? By jumping off the Harbour Bridge, you're not receiving a good or a service, unless you count the efforts of the person who made you want to jump in the first place. (Why did they cancel Futurama?)

I'm now getting to an age when I should possibly consider Botox. But a little research shows I can't afford it, and need to find a cheaper subsitute. Botox works by causing paralysis. What else causes paralysis? Alcohol! So I've recently taken up drinking heavily in an attempt to slow the ageing process. No discernable results to report yet, but I'll keep you posted.