Gentle...and Relax

For all that I whinge about my job (and regular readers will know, that is a lot), it really isn't bad. We get free fruit, cheese and cake, reflexology and massage appointments, there's always drinks in the fridge for late in the day...the company looks after us. But I'm rather nonplussed by the latest development...weekly tai chi sessions. Nico don't exercise for no one. Everyone keeps telling me "Tai chi isn't'll enjoy it!". Frankly, I'm not buying it. As with the annual free flu shots (I don't believe in immunisation) I thinks that this is something I'll bypass. I just hope they dont make it compulsory. Remember in King Size Homer, my all time favourite episode of The Simpsons, when all the power plant employees are required to do calisthenics, and Homer hides in the toilet? Well, I rather fear that will be me.

Anyway, I've come up with a new policy for dealing with problems at the office. I'm forever being told that this or that is "an emergency". Having become rather hooked on
Futurama lately, I noticed this brilliant snippet of dialogue from the episode The Nuetral Planet:

Kif: Captain, may I have a word with you?

Zapp: No.

Kif: It's an emergency, sir.

Zapp: Come back when it's a catastrophe.

So from now on, I'm not getting involved with any emergencies. You'll have to come up with a situation at "catastrophe" level or better to impress me (even then, I can't promise to do better than say "Relax! I'll handle it" and then ignore the whole thing).


  1. Why the anti-immunisation?

  2. I've not experienced Sam Kekovich. That would be my aversion to talkback radio. I did look him up, a bit, and am still not sure where he fits in the general scheme of things.
    It was a lazy phrase, I know.

  3. Tai-Chi doesn't look that energetic let alone interesting. My grandmother done some classes for years and loved it, I personaly rather slogging it out in the gym.

  4. Anon - I have my reasons. It's a personal belief and I won't go into it here.

    the_m0nster - Same Kekovich is actually a parody of a talk back host, not a real one (heaven forbid!). Anyway, he ends all his op-eds with "You know it makes sense". I can't believe you saw that comment, it was only up for about 20 seconds before I got shy and deleted it!

    Skye - Everytime I walk past Curves in the mall (about twice a day!) I mean to go in and sign up, but I always put it off, then I feel guilty (paradoxically, I lost weight over Xmas...)


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